where did the fire go?

It's been a while since i had that feeling. you know, that fire? that power?

that passion...

it could be on anything.

for me, it went along the lines of..

street fighter
gyming
studying ( at one stage)
and of course that girl
even toy collecting

but for all of these I have to admit. the fire has run dry. right now theres a state of plainess. no real direction to go anywhere.

it's kind of boring.

like even the whole idea of working and getting money is... meh. feels like it's not really that insirational in any sense.

I want to feel that passion again. my best example would be something like this

feb 15th

Feburary 15th. 2012. 1 day after that valentines day OR just another Tuesday according to me. As cliche as it sounds, I can honestly say that V-day isoverrated. No, seriously.
I have another name for Vday h; gosupersaiyan@thegym day. lol. Can you see the irony in that? neither can I -.-.

I didn't do much on the day partly because I was on placement and the other part ; well no one really to step foreward to.

well reading articles, upon articles of random things, I came across

lately these days, something feels... different. the mind feels rather free and focused. Could it be not having played ssf4 for 3 weeks now and knowing that I'm in that process of dropping the competative side of it - thus reducing any related stress be part of it? maybe getting over girls has finally begun taking it's toll. Or could it be waking up everyday knowing that theres work to do - hitting the gym after a day of placement- be related. Yes placement this time is relatively slow but it's very chilled - one radiographer, one patient at a time. I'm actually rather enjoying it - it feels like everything has finally begun to ... 'click'

Or it could be the fact I finally found some songs i can relate too.lol. I know I almost always say this but songs - have that ability to capture memories of certain times or events. and lately I've been listning to alout of acoustic



feels like theres a sense of hope now, and that it's not all that bad. One day though I'd just wish it would play out...

Shit happens

I guess we've all had our fair share of bad days. maybe some more than others. but just for today it honestly feels like... the entire world is against you. It's like everything you do turns into a negative consequence. like bad Karma has accumulated so heavily from somewhere and it's ready to dump a crap load onto you.

Life isn't fair.


and yet why does it continue to keep feeling things are never going to get better? it's like a dark limitless void.

I pray sometimes that one day things will just reverse and get better.. and yet there are so many reports of saying "it's up to you to make up your life" kind of quotes. I don't know were to begin...

As cliche as it sounds .. sometimes i just want to go to a lone field and scream to the top of my lungs. yes,This is such a depressing post. but sometimes I don't even know what to wake up to anymore. I ask myself everyday.. now. ............



I am honestly just lost for words right now..

time flies doesnt it.

7:45 am. No sleep. The date is 8/1/2012.

Been thinking about things. today, 1 year ago, 2 years ago, 3 years ago. 4 even.
So much has changed. It's only kind of hit me that im 21.. gosh time flies

And yet it feels like it was only yesterday that I was in high school with my mates playing cards in the cafeteria tables.

Now .. everyone gone there seperate ways. The only thing keeping friends together is facebook. I wonder what it would be like if FB never existed?

but we still meet at Uni, and events. Though things aren't the same. People ave their own lives to live, they have jobs, responsibilities, new friends, new enemies...

alot has changed significantly. and yet theres this feelign that I for one, hasn't changed much at all... it's wierd.

When I was a kid. in year 4, I've always wondered what my 21 year old self would be like, how i would look, behave, have accomplished. Now that I'm living this reality, I wonder in another 10 years, what my persona brings me.

21. that age. where responsibilitiy takes full fold. that new chapter in life. late teens where the night life, going out , clubbing as a group was the way to go.
now.. we begin a new phase of our lives. where people graduate, get full time jobs, get married even. the Wedding phase. the prime. of our lives, we should be living it out the fullest and yet I feel so.. out of place.

Does anyone else talk to themselves like this or am i the only one? sometimes I think im the biggest wierdo I know

Today I went to a friends party. I didn't know him too well, but I thought I'd drop by. But then I realise how anti-social I've become. Even amongts my own friends I have trouble knowing what to talk about. Is this.. normal? am I overanalysing the situation? it's like everything i say or do is awkward. I was welcome by this girl and being stupid me i almost gave her a handshake instead of a hug. LOL serious vanta? sometimes even I think your losing it...

growing up, I never was the social type. I only had 1 or 2 friends but I was mainly alone on the early stages. But come to think of it, I Guess i should be grateful. I have a friend who's been my friend since primary and one since high school. I know some people who have no friends like these!

people.. come and go throughout life. I've met quite a few. but few will ever really understand you.



everytime I write something like these It feels better, like at least

Lets talk about something worth talking about ey? Relationships.

Ok so I haven't been in one, YET so my point may or may not be valid, But there's something to really bothers me when I see others in a relationship do ;

When a guy is clearly in a relationship but flirts the crap out with other girls, when she isn't around.

I mean it could very well be all fun and a bit of games, but there is a clear-well define line that you can't cross and some people run across with no regard whatsoever.

A friend of mine, who went into one last year (theyve been togather for a year now) I believe, does it right.

you could say he is the typical nice boy who doesn't really talk to many girls. He finally gets the gf and bam. I literally never see him again. He is THAT devoted to her. he helps out her dad, helps out her family, bring her to family gatherings, and pretty much reserves everything for her. I don't think i've seen him again.

But I respect that. because Thats how a boyfriend should be like. ( he seemed quite family orientated).

On the other hand, a guy with a gf who is flirting the crap out other girls, makes me.. ugh. Maybe it's because he should no better to be (cheating but less severe) on other girl. wtf?
you have a girl man, rock her world already!

it makes me one to punch them in the face and tell them to go home and be a family man

asdfagfd

the last time i blogged was like.. 4 months ago.

since then as always alot has passed.

Uni, birthdays, tournaments.

well yeah. I could spend my time talking about them but It's 5 am and I frankly can't be bothered ( More on this later)

2011 has 1 day left as of this post.

Looking back, I must say, I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd hope. Perhaps it's the responsibilities of growing older? Perhaps it's because I haven't achieved what I've set out to achieve as in, 2011 resolutuions... I don't know.

But I wonder to those who read this, has anyone gone to that stage where they just can't be bothered anymore? where they lack motivation? where they aren't just in the mood?

Maybe you've seen it in movies, where the guy goes to the local bar and gets drunk off his ass and he doesn't care. That's the nfeeling right now. Like theres no will, driving power, excitement. Nothing to wake up too.

It's a dangerous position to be in because you can lose all the things you've worked towards . A phase people go through?......

Like I can't even be bothered going to the gym anymore. let alone go for a jog. Perhaps it was because at one stage when i was active etc, i wasn't really getting anywhere. so like y ou just cbb. I don't even know if what i'm typing makes any sense. I'm even losing interst in SSF4 now. My mission has been accomplished Foot print in hall of fame and that's it.

seriously what the hell. why is ut so boring nowadays wtf. sometimes you feel like the brain is about to explode of boredom!!

Life teaches you stuff

Since the last time I've posted, alot of things have happened.
I could go through each and everyone of them but .... that'd take to much effort.

Compare 1 month ago, 2 months ago , 3 months ago, 1 year ago, 2 years ago, how so much has changed. People are getting older, moving on and well, doing something.

But remember the past is the past, live for today and something something for the future (suppose to be cliche' line here)

If there's one thing I've learn from this entire episode is... live with what you have, the current time, not in the past or the future, live with what you have and make good use of it.

I remember someone saying "Life deals you a set number of cards, it's what you do with it that counts." Something like that.

Today I feel like leaving some of my favourite quotations that I recall time to time, just as a mere guide to tough times and for inspiration.

Cry in the dojo Laugh on the battlefied.
Or practise makes perfect. Can be related to schoolwork, preping for interviews and sf4 of course ;)

Beware your thoughts; they become your words.
Beware your words; they become your actions.
Beware your actions; they become your habits.
Beware your habits; they become your nature.
Beware your nature; it becomes your destiny.
Theres something about this quote that really gives chills down my spine. It almost speaks out from your soul, because it feels so surreal sometimes. I don't know but I can relate to it alot. That's why postive thoughts make for positive lives. Sometimes youo just have to smile to yourself and look retarded to keep being so damn happy lol.

There are three kind of people in this world.
Those who make things happen.
Those who watch things happen
Those who don’t know what happened.
I'm pretty sure we've all done this, but to be honest I think you need a balance of all of these to live a healthy and effective lifestyle.

“Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the tests first, the lesson afterward.
- Not much more to say.

Don’t regret things you did do, but things you didn’t.

You try, you fail. You try, you fail. But the only true failure is when you stop trying.

Most people fail because they give up what they want for life to get what they want at the moment

The only person you have to impress in life is YOURSELF
- Yeah impress yourself, and others will come crawling to you ;)

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life
- where enemies means something right?

Knowledge is whatever remains after you forgotten what you’ve learned
- how much does this apply to exams

Small mind talks about people;
Good mind talks about events;
Great mind talks about ideas;
Sound mind however talks, about the wisdom and deeper meaning of what people, events and/or ideas is all about.

LIVE as if your KIDS were watching…
- Practise what you preach?

Anything you ever want in life is just outside your comfort zone.
- Have to work for what you have

Excuses are the nails that build a house of a failure.
- Sometimes you just have to do it.

Don’t look down on anyone unless you are helping them up.
- We were all at a low level and one stage.

we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. (Artistotle)
- My favourite, you have to make it into a habbit man.

Remember the 3 R’s
“Respect for yourself”
“Respect for others”
“Responsibility for your own actions”

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions

Never take time for granted….you never know when you’ll run out of it.

The sharpest sword goes through the hottest fire.
- mmhmm

The only people you need in your life are the ones who need you in theirs.

be the person who makes the right choices, even when no one is around to watch.