i never thought holding a birthday party could be such a risk

alot of people end up judging you on it... the flow, the guests, the  music.. the place...

It seemed alot of people were expecting something big since the guest list was big

i don't really know what to say .. was it good?

I think most people thought it was pretty average. i stuffed up a few thigns, especially the information part, getting drunk to early and having stupid moments.. even the f**#@ music didn't work properly

My speeches... wtf, can't even remember but apparently i was too drunk.

God damnmit, I just want some good things to come already!

it's times like these you wish.. you could have someone to talk to, just help you , talk too..

perhaps i'm being way to hard on myself but i was expected to deliver and i couldn't.

how many times in life has people expect you TO deliver and you couldn't?

i've had that too many times, it makes you... depressed really..

Maybe i should........ just stop trying..